My Funny Naija Stories: January 2011

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Nigerians held in UK for marriage, immigration fraud

Ten Nigerians have been arrested by the United Kingdom Border Agency for alleged involvement in sham marriages and immigration fraud in the past few months, according to a statement by the British High commission, Abuja.

The statement said special operations by the UKBA had led to the arrest of over 200 foreign nationals, noting that those found guilty would be jailed and deported.

The statement said British courts had handed out jail sentences totalling over 12 years to Nigerians arrested in these operations.

The high commission said, “On December 6, Tunde Ayammiyi, 50, and Bukola Arinkanmile, 28, were sentenced to 20 months and three years respectively for conspiring to break immigration laws. Victoria Adesola, 34, was jailed for two years for her involvement in sham marriage.

“Two fake grooms, Olarotimi Ojugbele, 41, and Idowu Komolafe, 34, were also jailed for 21 months each for their roles in sham marriages. In Belfast, Patrick Ozegebe, 34, was jailed for six months for trying to open a bank account with a false Nigerian passport.

Juju Fails Armed Robber

Danlami Ahmed, has been arrested by the police for attempting to rob a new generation bank in Minna, Niger State, with the aid of Juju.

Ahmed was arrested on Thursday after using Juju to beat the bank’s mechanical and human security networks to gain entry into the banking hall.

Saturday Tribune gathered that the suspect who hails from Nassarawa State but was residing in the Sauka Kahuta area of the Niger State capital, was spotted by a bank official in the bulk room packing naira notes into a ‘Ghana must go’ he had brought with him.

However, the bank member, who saw Ahmed taking the money into the bag, reportedly tapped him on the back and asked him what he was doing there.

An alarm was raised, which attracted the security men attached to the bank, leading to his (Ahmed’s) arrest.

When questioned, Ahmed, who had the charms under the dress he wore, allegedly said he had been in the business for some time and that the charm was given to him by his grandfather.

He said with the aid of the charm he had the power to disappear from anywhere and would not be seen while raiding any bank.

The suspect was later led to his Sauka Kahuta residence where the police searched the premises.

A senior police officer who preferred to remain anonymous confirmed the news saying investigations into the matter had commenced.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

‘I Just Wanted To Pose With My Girlfriend In It’ - Car Thief

A young car thief shocked the owner of the vehicle by saying he stole it in order to pose with his girlfriend.

Tochukwu Ejezie, 23, stole the red Kia Picanto car from Our Lady of the Holy Rosary Catholic Church, Oke-Ira, Ogba, Lagos, South-West Nigeria. He was caught as he was trying to escape with it.
But for the quick intervention of a police officer at a check point a mob on Monday nearly lynched the youth.
A parishioner of the church, Sister Nkiru, had hardly parked her red Kia Picanto car marked FW 171 EKY when Ejezie trailed her to where she sat inside the church.
As he confessed after he was caught, Ejezie trailed the owner to her seat. As she was praying, he took the key and drove out the car towards Ogba.
However, immediately he escaped, the owner, Sister Nkiru raised an alarm when she could no longer see her car key.
The church security guards mobilised members who were in the church to chase the car thief with their motorcycles. Some commercial okada riders also joined the search party. They went through all the roads leading to the church.
Luck ran out on Ejezie when the search party caught up with him where he was held up by the traffic at Aguda-Ogba, opposite Excellence Hotel.
He was almost mobbed but a police officer at a nearby police checkpoint and the church security guards protected him.
The Kia Picanto he stold.
During interrogation, Ejezie confessed that he was watching the owner as she parked the car, adding that he followed her and sat by her side during prayer.
“When she went for the communion, I picked the key and headed for where the car was parked. I did not intend to steal the car but to go and pose with it with my friends and girlfriend,” Ejezie said when he was taken back to the church.
He was later handed over to the police at the Area ‘G’ Police Command Headquarters, Ogba.
The suspect, however, gave the police an entirely different reason why he stole the car.
He said in his statement to the police that he wanted to sell the car and use the money to establish a business for himself.
Ejezie, who said he started attending Our Lady of Holy Rosary Catholic Church about three weeks ago, denied stealing in the church before.