Woman kills her bros over piece of meat

A 24-year-old woman was arrested by the police on Tuesday for allegedly killing her 8-year-old brother over a piece of meat.

The suspect, Janet James, from Akwa-Ibom State, allegedly killed her brother, Saviour, with a spatula at their residence on Adedeji Street, Ilupeju.

She allegedly dumped the boy's body at the premises of TIME Insurance Company, which is not far from her house.

The body was discovered by security personnel at the company who then reported to the police.

Police spokesperson Frank Mba said, "When the police got to the Insurance Company, they found the body of the boy in a bush by the fence of the company. The face of the kid was facing down and when they turned him over, they saw that he was the same boy they had at one time rescued from the suspect.

Police reports revealed that Miss James, a house help to an Indian couple, had in the past beaten the victim to a state of coma over allegation of theft.

"The suspect had in the past beaten the boy so badly that people in the area had to report her to the police. She was arrested and after a while the police asked her to write an undertaking that she will take the boy back to the village.

She was even given some money to travel with the boy but she went ahead to hide him in her room. Every time police officers go back to check on her, she lied that she had taken him back to the village," Mr. Mba said.

Mr. Mba said when the police saw the victim's body, they had a reason to suspect Miss James.

"When the police got to her house, she was seen nonchalantly preparing food. The officers asked after the boy and she said she took him to the church for prayers, the police took her to the station and she confessed to killing her brother."

Narrating the incident, the suspect said, "I brought my brother from the village; he is actually my step brother, because my mother said he steals a lot and I should handle him. But when he continued stealing despite my warning, I started beating him so he will change. That day, on Monday, he stole a piece of meat and I beat him very well with a stick I use to make eba.

"He became sick and in the night I felt his body was getting cold and saliva was coming out of his mouth; I became scared. By 5am the next day I thought he had died and I used a wrapper and tied him to my back. I went to the insurance company and threw his body over the fence into the bush. I feel really bad and when I came home I cried because I did not mean to kill him"

Mr. Mba said "This is a classical case of unprovoked homicide; the case has been transferred to the state Homicide Department for thorough investigation."

Teeto ft suspect Oshamo HighRes

EXCLUSIVE :Mercy Johnson goes bare chested!!!

It was a very serious commotion on the set of ONE LOVE, a movie shot on locations in Asaba and directed by Michael Jaja for IMMORTAL FILMS LTD on that faithful Sunday, 30th of August 2009. In the process of fighting as demanded in the movie between Mercy Johnson and Biola Ige, another talented fast rising Nollywood actress, their clothes were torn, revealing every vital parts of a woman.

It wasn't until after the shoot that Mercy's personal assistant who was very close to the monitor with the director told her that her boobs were out, so bad that even the nipples were showing. Mercy got worried and walked up to the director and pleaded to have a preview of the scene but he refused.

She got mad and the ladies on the set also protested, yet he wouldn't change his mind saying that he got the exact shot he wanted as the director, then trouble ensued. Mercy was ready to either reshoot that particular scene or refund her fee for that project and walk away, but the director was ready to quit the job rather than give into Mercy's demands.

After two hours or there about, people were able to calm the situation and eventually the scene was reshot. Mercy kept talking all the time about her arrangements to get married soon and she wouldn't want any stumbling blocks in the way.

Lovely kokolette dancing because of independence day!!!!

Video: Freewindz ft Terry G – Tolo Tolo

2Face boots out his Mistresses

Mr. Innocent Idibia aka 2Face Idibia an awarding winning Nigerian musician, is in the news again, the scandals which has been plaguing his love life seems unending. The news in town is that Mr. 2Face has parted ways with his “two most visible mistresses”; Sumbo Ajaba and Pero Adeniyi, both had two children each for him.

2Face gave Sumbo Ajaba the boot on Saturday 15th august 2009, while on vacation with her. It all started when Sumbo asked 2Face if he still loves her, and she was surprised when he couldn't answer yes or no. to her it was a sign that something was wrong, so she went ahead to query him on it. The answer she got 2Face, was shocking, she did not expect it, and Mr.2Face informed her it's over between the two of them.But Sumbo Ajaba, who works with a second generation bank in Nigeria, is getting every thing is good fate

Pero Adeniyi is presently in the US, and one of the reasons she is said to have travelled to the US may be to reconcile with her ex-husband, whom she had a child for before she 2Face.

2Face booting out of his two mistresses seems to be based on the advice he has been receiving lately, that his sexual exploits will ruin his life and music career.

Is 2Face trying to redeem his image? By do away with the women in his life to his dwindling career.

The issue of him impregnating this and that has brought him so much trouble and bad name. And the best if he lay off women. Source: nigeriafilms.com - Nigeria Films

Ikechukwu parambulates london with girlriend sarah ofili.

These lovers were spotted in London on friday august 28,2009 and the olofofo who spotted them is still in shock from what was spotted
''they were together shopping heavily at the popular Selfridges and Ikechukwu was buying a new bling necklace for her, maybe an apology/am sorry/engagement necklace.

Ikechukwu had his hands on Sarahs backside as they surveyed the necklace.they were interrupted by some fans who rushed over to snap with the crooner.sarah who is known in london as ''it-girl''stood by the corner as the pictures were snapped.later they were into the bvlgari shop and the crooner paid for the bling bling necklace and they walked out hand in hand and laughing''.

Basketmouth Uncensored -- Vol 3

source:http://www.bunibuni.com

AY Live -- Vol. 5

Source:http://www.bunibuni.com

Nigerian musicians plan hunger strike!!!

Following the resolutions adopted at a recent world press conference in Lagos, the coalition of major associations in the Nigerian music industry would soon begin the mobilization of stakeholders throughout the country for the commencement of an indefinite mass hunger strike.

The strike is aimed at drawing the attention of the world to the intolerable amount of piracy currently devastating the music industry in Nigeria. The mass hunger strike commenced on August 25.

Gathered that as a prelude to the strike, there will be a rally of stakeholders in the Nigerian music industry at the National Theatre, Lagos, at 10.00am on the D-day. The rally will offer an opportunity to artistes and investors across the industry to network and devise strategies to frontally attack the piracy scourge that is plundering the Nigerian entertainment industry.

The coalition in its press release signed by Mr. Efe Omorogbe, further resolved that a powerful delegation of industry stakeholders will proceed to the National Assembly in Abuja on September 1, to express the frustration of the industry, over the lukewarm and ineffective attitude of the government to attacking the piracy cancer that is fast eating away the livelihood of hundreds of thousands of Nigerians and destroying the nation’s image.

The coalition is also requesting all broadcast organizations in the country to show solidarity with the plight of the Nigerian entertainment industry by observing September 1, 2009, as “No Music Day”. Broadcasting stations across Nigeria, are requested not to broadcast music between the hours of 6 am and 6 pm on September 1. Artistes across the country are also requested not to engage in any musical performance on the above date.

Bro. Franklin - Gbedu Hi Me

27M naira gift to Stella Damascus causes wahala!!

Highly controversial movie idol, Stella Damasus-Nzeribe may not have felt the pandemonium that later aroused after has succeeded convincing her secret lover, Taiwo Afolabi who runs Sifax Shipping and other services to part with a large sum of money, running into N27 million cash to supply almanac, souvenirs etc for their customers some months back.

Some reliable source, Taiwo Afolabi, Stella Damasus who has been facing a lot of controversies lately due to her unalloyed passion for joystick, we gathered, approached Taiwo, his secret lover that her company, Mon Afrik, would not mind to take care of their almanac and other gift items for their esteemed customers, Taiwo, the lover boy, we were told, never raised a blink and she was said to have instructed Stella to bring forth her proposal.

Before that time, the Corporate Department of the multi national company, Sifax Group of Companies was said to have started work on the gift items’ project and when Stella’s proposal was endorsed by their boss, they were alleged to be short of words and put a hold to the ongoing project and there was murmuring all over the place.

To worsen the whole case, Taiwo Afolabi we were told ordered Stella Damasus to be paid cash and they did. Information emanating from that Sifax Company reveals that all is not well between Stella and some top staff of the company, most especially those who run things at the corporate affairs department due to Stella’s game of wit. “Whenever she comes around, nobody gives her any recognition in the department as I learnt that she double-crossed them and this didn’t go down well on the people in that department.

Sex in God's house

Something, of course, might have gingered the woman off God; Reverend Cynthia Okobi to have come up with the controversial book entitled <‘SEX IN GOD’S HOUSE.> The book which has been generating lot of controversies ever since the report about it hit town, is said to have been a compendium of personal experiences of the beautiful mother of two, Cynthia.

While some are of the opinion that the book might have been borne out of the amorous affair the drop-dead beauty allegedly had with Rev. Kris Okotie of Household of God years back, some just say it’s an inspiration from the realm of saints above. Penultimate week, a certain celebrity journal published that the woman of God, who sits atop and Pastor Kris Okotie were caught in the act and that the liaison produced a child.

The woman of essence has since come out to deny and debunk the image-damaging story as calculated attempt to discredit her good name. “God forbid! That is a lie from the pit of hell. Rev. Kris Okotie is someone I respect. The speculation is not true. The process of having children involves sexual intercourse. Are you now insinuating that I, Rev Cynthia Okobi had sexual intercourse with Rev Kris Okotie? Please that report is not true.” She said.

On the kind of relationship that ensured between them, she has this to say “Rev. Kris Okotie midwife me into true Christianity. It was in the household of God in 1995 that I gave my life to Christ. So you can say he is my pastor.” Recently, the mother of two, Rev. Cynthia Okobi has since been in the news ever since she came up with her controversial book entitled Sex in God’s House.

The conflict-ridden but voluminous book which is slated to be launched at the Banquet Hall of the Sheraton Hotel and Suites come Thursday 20th August, 2009 from 5:30 to 7pm prompt under the distinguished chairmanship of Pat Utomi, Vice Chairman BankPHB. The very beautiful has made everything ready to host the likes of Chief Ephraim Faloughi, Grace Madumere, Titi Kayode-Samuel and others.

Mode 9 fans attack Rugged Man on stage!!!!!

Penultimate week when Ruggedy Baba as Michael Ugochukwu Stephen a.k.a Ruggedman is fondly called mounted the stage at Oniru Private Beach in Lekki serviced by the billionaire property merchant Fatai Animashaun, Fat Anny, to do what he knows how to do best-Music, he never envisaged the embarrassment he got from the very large crowd.

When Ruddeman got to the stage, from nowhere, an unidentified person threw a sachet of dirty water to him on stage. The attack which infuriated Michael, we learnt led him to stop the show as he was raining curses on the unknown culprit.

According to an eye witness account, Ruggedy’s appearance on stage only received an average ovation due to the fact that Mode 9, who has been rivalry with the Abia State born rapper, Ruggedy Baba had the largest fans at the place. Bad belle people have even fingered Mode 9 and his cohorts in the ‘dirty water saga’. Could that be true? I shall keep you posted

Policemen rob Lord of Ajasa

One of the nominees at the last week held SoundCity Music Video Awards was robbed by ‘security operatives’ clad in police jackets on the Ikorodu road on his way back from the ceremony.

The incident which took place at about 1am further evidences the risk involved with driving on the Lagos roads especially at night.

Perhaps, impostors, the six-man gang had flashed down Lord of Ajasa with a torch and asked him to pull over, only to be dispossessed of belongings including cash, phones and jewellery. The Yoruba rap act was driving in a blue Honda Bullet in company of his personal assistant, Kunle, and friend, Timothy (who was driving), when the unfortunate incident happened.

Narrating his ordeal, the bitter rapper said, ‘they were wearing the police jacket with ‘Police’ written on it. So, I decided to slow down on the highway and eventually stopped. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have stopped if not for the police jacket I saw.

Before I could say jack, they ordered us out of the vehicle and ransacked our pockets and the car for anything valuable.

It looked like a film trick. My friend who drove was even trying to explain that I am an artiste and all of that but when they landed him a slap on the face, we knew we were in for it.”

Not even Ajasa’s wedding band was spared in the raid. The rapper got married to his erstwhile love, Funmi, less than a year ago and the couple is blessed with a son.

When I was 11 .. it was horrible - NYJA

This is an exclusive interview with one of tha best upcoming female rappers NYJA....myfunny9jastories met up with her to discuss her personal life, music and influences, enjoy:

- Let people know ur name

Which name do you want ohh? lol eerrmmm my name is Fara Ashiru but the music world knows me as Nyja


- when did you write ur first rap
When I wass 11 .. it was horrible..i still remember it.. something like.. "drumming on a table, going to spin a dradle..." hmm let me not expose myself further.


- do you write your own songs?
yess ohh everything i have spit is 100% mine!.


- who are your musical influences?
that is hard ohh.. as par to start rapping it was Missy Eliott..but to get in the naija game it was Weird MC and Eldee ..but now i still love them but as far as pushing me to be more creative i look at cats like Lil Wayne.


- Naija food or yankee food?

hmm oh nothing beats Eba and Egusi.. but i like both sha.


- Micheal jackson or P square?
anh anh Mike is the king now...




- Jay Z or D'banj

D'banj! you cant help but love him..i mean like he said he is truly an ENTERTAINER


- People have said a lot about ur origin, lets talk about ur family background

I was born in Naija.. Ibadan to be exact.. but i am from Ijebu Ode but i grew up in Saudi Arabia and Yankee my whole life dont think i really spent up to like a year or 2 in Naij.. but i visit.


- wat was growin up like?
Growing up was great.. i have a great family that supports me.. I really didnt know a lot about my Nigerian background until I went to Naija for SS1..thats when Nyja was truly born.


- How did u get into music?
like i said i started rapping at 11 but...it wasnt until SS1 in Naija that I realy started and we used to have like Talent Nights and I would perform and people were receptive so it stuck.


- wat r the challenges u've faced as female naija rapper?

the biggest thing is "She is hot ..for a girl" Omo.. I am hot for anything lol..


- outside music, what else do you do??
mostly school.. i am interested in a lot of graphics I do a lot of graphics and digital media.. actually planning on going to Film School for my masters to be able to be in the music industry in 2 capacities.


- Any relationships, tell me about it
nope..nothing to tell.. i am single

- have u had any embarrasing moments?
who hasnt?? ummm clumsy so i have an embarassing moment every day lol.


- Any new work coming out?
yess ohh stay tuned for my upcoming EP entitled "Pay Me my Money" its going to have collabs with aritsts such as Phizzle, Weird MC, Terry tha Rapman along with A lot others and will be debued on Itunes...


- Any word of advice to those who wanna make it in the naija music industry?
well i havent really made it yet..but i would say dont give up...because it will NOT be hard.. people think its easier or something but its just as hard as any other industry ..and beleive in your work..cause no one else will if you dont...

Age scandal rocks Eaglets’ camp - As players fail MIR test

UNCERTAINTY revolves round the National U-17 National team, the Golden Eaglets team as the count down to the World Cadet Championship which the country is hosting draws nearer.

SundayTribunesports investigations revealed that only a handful of players that are presently on playing tour of Ghana, failed the MIR test, meant to determine the actual age of the players.

Findings by SundayTribunesports revealed that over sixteen players among those on the tour have failed the test leaving the technical crew with only six players without blemish.

It was further gathered that the affected players in the team which arrived the country yesterday and are presently camped in Ibadan, would be decamped in accordance with the directive of the NFF President Alhaji Sani Lulu Abdullahi.

Although the NFF boss is insisting that he would love the country to defend the championship won two years ago in Korea, but he would not want the country to be embarrassed.

“We are committed to getting it right this time around. We would give the country the best, and that best would be appreciated by the whole world” the Kogi State born soccer administrator had earlier emphasized.

To this end, SundayTribunesports further gathered that the technical crew of the team has already mapped out a plan ‘B’ programme on the ground.

The crew are said to have been grooming another set of players along side the team A which may likely be a new team to present for the World championship that the country would host in October this year.

Pictures of Michael Jackson Re-surfacing in Naija

Hey my naija people before i proceed, this is not to disrespect the King of pop, hey it's all comedy, before you know it now people will say "this guy is mad mehn", "this guy is disrespectful mehn"...lol....i saw this this joint on facebook from someone's profile and I really think it's funny....

Don Jazzy the conductor!!!!!

Living in the hood like Ajegunle doesn't mean You can't make it in life, So is the story of one of Nigeria's heavyweight music producer, Don Jazzy. He was born without a silver spoon.

He grew up in Ajegunle ( popularly called AJ City) worshiping at Cherubim and Seraphim church. After secondary school, he went on to Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma in Edo State, but dropped out as a result of financial difficulties. Don Jazzy had to sell bean cake (akara) for his mom in Ajegunle and had to become a bus conductor to feed his family.

The now most sought after producer never left Nigeria for London for pursue an education. An uncle of his asked him to come play instrumentals for a church in London and after spending sometime in London, he never thought of returning to Nigeria until D Banj persuaded him to, and the rest is history. The soft spoken producer sits as the President of one of Nigeria's most promising and fledgling record label, Mo Hits Records, which has produced such stars like D Banj, Wande Coal, and lots more.

Nigerians arrested in UK over 'arrangee' weddings!!!

It was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. But instead of walking down the aisle with bouquets of flowers in their hands, two brides and their grooms were handcuffed and taken to a police station.

The grooms, whose identities have not been disclosed, are Nigerians, who engaged their Slovakian brides in a desperate bid to live in the United Kingdom (UK).

Their arrests were part of a coordinated operation to curb an international marriage scam. Such bogus marriages allow immigrants to stay in the UK.

If found guilty, the suspects could be sentenced to seven-year jail terms.

A combined team of police and immigration officers raided two homes and arrested the Slovakian brides and Nigerian grooms before they arrived at churches on Tuesday.

According to the Mail Online, four other men from Nigeria, Slovakia and the Czech Republic, who are believed to be making up to £15,000 per sham wedding, were also arrested.

It was learnt that six Nigerian men were also being detained on suspected Immigration offences.

The arrests were centred around two gangs in Manchester and Bradford, West Yorkshire.

Immigration officers waited until the Nigerian gang members drove from Manchester to Bradford before their arrests in a fuel station, just hours before the two weddings were to take place.

Detective Sergeant Peter Gallagher, who led the operation, said: “We believe we have cracked an organised conspiracy in which marriage fixers and European brides were making money from Nigerian grooms desperate to find a way to stay in the UK.”

The churches, believed to have been targeted by the gangs are: St Philip and St James in Scholes, South Yorkshire, and St Lukes in Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire.

UK Border Agency regional director, Jeremy Oppenheim said: “We will not tolerate Immigration abuse and will punish those who break the Immigration laws.

“Over recent years, we have clamped down on sham marriages introducing Certificates of Approval, family permits and encouraged registrars to highlight suspicious cases.

“That’s why suspected sham marriages fell from over 3,500 in 2004 to under 400 in 2008. Under the tougher rules, anyone trying to play the system can expect to face imprisonment for up to seven years.”

The arrest came on the heels of the arraignment of a vicar over alleged conspiracy to aid unlawful entry to the UK by helping to organise more than 180 ‘sham’ weddings for illegal immigrants earlier this month.

Reverend Alex Brown, 60, was arrested in a dawn raid on his rectory home in St Leonards, East Sussex, and his church, St Peters, 200 yards away.

He was accused of holding a ‘conveyor belt’ of services to allow African and Eastern European immigrants from outside the European Union (EU) to marry those with the right to stay in the UK.

When migrants complete bogus marriages, they can remain in Britain and move freely within the EU.

Those with residency rights in the UK, often from other EU countries, are paid up to £2,000 a time to take part in the sham weddings.

Labour toughened marriage laws in February 2005 after the number of suspect ceremonies - often arranged by criminal gangs who could earn £10,000 a time - reached 3,700 per year.

Migrants were made to get a special certificate to marry if they lived outside the EU, or had only limited rights to live in the UK.

Those with only three months’ leave to remain were routinely refused on the grounds that the ceremony was performed just to avoid removal from the country.

The number of sham weddings has since fallen to around 300 a year. But the crackdown was left in tatters after the Law Lords ruled it breaches migrants’ human rights.

According to Law Lords, “forcing a migrant to prove whether a relationship is genuine is arbitrary and unjust,” even if they were getting married only weeks before their permission to stay in Britain ran out.

Terry G Scammed of N5 Million and denies affair with Super Eagles Defender Joseph Yobo's Girl

This is an exerpt taken from his facebook status hrs ago. Free me right now!!!"Rumours Rumours,Rumours...I aint gat nothing to do with Joseph Yobos Gurl,My songs havent been restricted from being played on Air,I have been scammed of 5million naira,any business transaction should not be concluded if i am not in the picture,Nobody should have any transaction with Justin Slabber.Still on the matter free me rite now.9ice just left my studio.Cookin up a beat for his up coming album"

Wande Coal fights Don Jazzy for money!!!!

The lovers of the internationally recognized entertainment outfit, Mo’ Hits Record solely owned by Don Jazzy were shocked to read about the fisticuffs currently rocking the entertainment house on the pages of newspapers last week. Wande Coal, the top hip hop sensational artiste is in the centre of the controversy as we gathered that he’s battle ready for any unexpected scenario that may come up afterwards should Don Jazzy fail to comply with his demands.

The Bumper-2-Bumper crooner, Wande, who is said to be so bitter at the moment over the breach in their contractual agreement, went to Don Jazzy and poured out his mind on how Mo’Hits has not been forth coming with their promises on the royalties for his bumper-2-bumper album. Don Jazzy, according to inside sources, felt so insulted that Wande whom he brought from Mushin to Mo’ Hits could be so bold enough to demand for unnecessary royalties from him. We were told that Don Jazzy said he didn’t owe him any royalties and that the company has been responsible for his image packaging, promotion and what have you. On this note, Wande, we learnt, got mad with such utterances and was alleged to have been so rude to Don Jazzy saying “I’m not D’Banj o, mine is different o”etc. the unsatisfactory reaction Wande got from Don Jazzy we learnt began the journey to their separation as the house was said to have been in total disarray with Don Jazzy keeping to himself.

Though, Wande with support of other Mo’Hits crew had rendered his unreserved apology to the don of the Mo’Hits Records, however, things, according to people in the know, may not be the same with Wande and Don Jazzy. As you are reading this, the smooth and cordial relationship that has existed between the young artiste and Don Jazzy is now been threatened. The manager of the outfit, Sunday Are’s number was not available when we called to seek for his opinion over the story.

Gospel Singer, Kenny Saint Brown romances M.I!!

Despite 20 years age difference between the two, hot romance is said to have been going on between the gospel female singer, Kenny saint Brown and the hip hop star called MI.

The amorous affair which we learnt has been going on for a while between the two artistes has taken any turn as we learnt that they now display their love in public.

“They were spotted holding hands at the hip Hop awards in Abuja and a few weeks ago at an event in Lagos they cling with each other like Siamese’s twins. While the two artistes have differently confirmed their liaison as strictly business and nothing more, people in the know say, aside the studio work thing, there is strong affinity between the two of them which has become so known.

Sound Sultan, Baba Dee at loggerheads!!!!

The famous Lanre Fasasi popularly known as Sound Sultan is one outstanding artiste that is known to be cool in what he says or do.

It’s no longer news that Sound Sultan is the younger brother of Dare Fasasi who is referred to as Baba Dee who has decided to be quite musically due to reasons best known to him.Exclusive reports has it that Lanre’s babe is expecting a child and the lady in question is from the Igbo extraction, on this note, Baba Dee has put up a quarrel with his younger brother because he doesn’t want anything to do with the Igbo lady who he said looks like a gold-digger to him.Are we now saying Baba Dee not a liberal person considering the fact that his music is listened to by all the tribes, Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Urhobo, Ibibio, Ijaw name it? We tried to enquire from one of his aides “Not that he’s ‘tribalistic’, it’s like he doesn’t totally support Chichi to be the mother of his brother’s first son, to him, he says Chichi looks like a gold-digger who is full of pretense…..”

I'm real freestyle by Silver Scotty of Knock out boys!!!!

......a lot of people have been telling me about this guy....people even tell me he's better than M.I....well someone sent this to me and i really liked it...You guys should enjoy and make comments if you like!!!!

Naeto C - Ringtone

I hate my buttocks, they’re too big -Uche Ogbodo

For every woman, there is usually that part of the body she likes most, the part of your body you can easily flaunt with shoulders high. That part people compliment you about. Anita Joseph says she has beautiful eyes

Zizi Cardow, a fashion designer says hers are her legs and that is why she sticks to short dresses or minis. For Data Okorodudu, also a fashion designer her arms are that best part. “I have well tanned arms.” Little wonder she wears tubes and strapless. For Ini Edo Ehiagwina, it is her chest where she has hairs which she usually flaunts.
There are also some parts of you, you would wish to change or adjust were it possible. Rosemary Ikwuegbu, a business woman said the first thing she would ask from God is to add to her boobs: “They are too small. I want more, honestly more than these buds on my chest.”
Ikwuegbu is not alone, Ucho Ogbodo, Nollywood’s sultry actress doesn’t like her Bakassi (buttocks) one bit. She starts by analyzing those parts she likes: “I have beautiful eyes. I like my boobs too but my ass (buttocks), I dislike because they are too big.”

About Rukky Sandra's Incurable Eczema

Rukky is one of the new faces in Nollywood today who is not doing badly at all.

Her ability to interpret script has earned her a lot of respect from her colleagues and, of course, her beautiful look is another centre of attraction which makes men crave for her attention.

You may need to know that behind those beautiful curves and articulate disposition is an offensive skin disease called Eczema which has taken over the beautiful girl’s skin. At an award night held in Lagos recently where the epitome of beauty was a guest, informed sources informed this office that Rukky’s regalia was outstanding and turned so many heads.

The regalia, we were told, slightly left a portion of her back open and it’s so shocking to discover that the eczema was all over her back. “It’s not just the back o; the skin spoiler is all over her body even face too.

You wouldn’t have noticed this because of the money she spends to clean herself up on a regular basis that’s why it’s not showing and she’s always paying half of what she gets from the movies and her many ‘aristo runs’ to dermatologist.” A close source informed.
Meanwhile, all effort to reach the screen idol to comment on this proved abortive.

Terry G to sign for Mohits record?

My 9ja people I just got this message from one of my relevant sources in Nigeria...well i no sabi if na true abi na lie b4 una go talk say this myfunny9ja guy na lair...lol...ok na like this i heard the C.E.O of Mohits record Don Jazzy and D'banj are planning on bringing or rather luring "Mr free me the ginger "terry G" to Mohits, they've offered to give him a #10 million(ten million naira) house in lekki, a million naira in cash and also a car to get tha signature of "MR bling bling"...i promise to get more details and update my nigerian people on what is happening

Celebrities reach out to Shirley, wife of Shan George’s lover

It is no news that star actress Shan George has found love again in the arms of a 29-year old-son of a retired police commissioner, Armani, a part time Botany student of the University of Benin where one of Shan’s sons is also an undergraduate. Na wa for this kind of love o.

This is no gossip because the lovers have thrown caution to the winds as they now kiss and smooch in public. The actress, a mother of two grown up boys has given Akin Jaiyeola a.k.a Armani, 29, an overdose of love so much that the dark complexioned dude has thrown his wife, Shirley and his three months old baby out of his MKO Abiola Gardens Ikeja residence.

Well the relationship is no news because it is not the first time a younger person is falling head over heels in love with Shan. Her previous lover before Armani came into her life saw and conquered. When ‘Chi’ (God) rescued him out of Shan’s tight grip, he thanked God for saving him. He said Shan nearly lured him into marrying her. Well all that is history. What is bothering, some people now is how Shirley would be feeling now.

Some celebrities have decided to reach out to Shirley.

First is Queen Ure Okozie, the ex-wife of Soul E. Her advice perhaps is based on personal experience. Hear her; “I will advice you to go to God. He is the only one who can give direction in such circumstance.”

Good advice, isn’t it? That was exactly what she did when Soul E took a walk. Now, you need to see this ‘Sisi.’ She has honestly gotten her groove back.

Florence Onuma, Actress

Shirley, it’s a pity that this is happening between you and my colleague Shan. But dear, if I am in your shoes, guess what I would do? I would seek for redress. I will go to law court and sue him. If you are his legally wedded wife, there is a law that kicks against your man’s action.

Theodora Dike, Model

I will never allow my husband to kick me out of my matrimonial home, never! As long as he is legally married to me, I will never allow that. But since it has happened to you, I will encourage you go to God in prayer. Let me tell you, there is no one that solves problem in amazing ways than God. Go on your knees and ask Him to fight for you and leave the whole battle to Him. I’m sure what your man is doing with Shan George is not ordinary. There is a spiritual undertone to it. But by the time you pray hard, the scale blinding your man would drop.

Find condom in your man’s pocket?

Segun was in Abuja for a three-day official assignment. As he was unpacking his bag at his hotel, he found two packs of condom hidden in his luggage. He knew he did not put it there. It was the handiwork of his wife who does not want to take chances with the health of her spouse.

Many women are coming to terms with the reality of their men probably having an affair or an occasional fling. We sought the opinion of some of them if, by accident, they find condom in their man’s pocket. Their responses:

ODESOLA ABOSEDE
There is nothing I can say. Of course I will be happy to find a condom in his pocket, knowing that he is being careful not to impregnate another woman or infect me with diseases. But I rather would advice him to be careful when keeping a relationship outside marriage. This, I understand happens because some men don’t want to make their wives sex machines, so they go out to satisfy their sexual urge from other ladies or women who have the energy and strength to meet their demands. So, I will always advice him to use condom whenever he is hanging out with other ladies. There is no problem finding a condom in his pocket because it makes me safe with him

MRS. EBOTIE LUCY
For me, if peradventure I find condom in my husband’s pocket, I won’t take it up with him violently. No. All I need is some explanations. Yes, explanations on where and how he got it and where he uses it. If his explanation is convincing enough, I might overlook it. But if he sounds incoherent, I would not take it lightly with him. I simply will conclude he is cheating on me and that could infect me with diseases.
I remain with him on the condition that sex will be out of our lives to be on the safe side, condom or no condom.

.MRS. JONES
I would do is ask him if he was given at a seminar or in the office. But if he did not get it in either of these places, I will only advice him to be extra careful in his affairs with other women.

DAMMY JOSEPH
Definitely I won’t be happy because it shows he is not being faithful to me. In other words, it shows that he is cheating on me. But on the other hand, I will be happy because at least he is protecting himself from deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
No man is an exemption to extra-marital affair. It is their nature to cheat on their wives, no matter how beautiful and respectful their wives might be, they still look out. It is only God that could change this nature of theirs.

MRS. KENNY
I trust my husband, so I would not think negatively of him for he cannot cheat on me.
The fact that I found a condom in his pocket does not put it that he is unfaithful to me. It could be that he was given by these health safety awareness officials.

OSASONA DUPE
I will not hold issues against him because he must have been given at a seminar or health conference. On the other hand, he might buy it for safety purpose. But if I noticed he was hiding it from me, I would ask him and his response would determine my reaction towards him.

MRS. GEMBA RABIAT
As for me, my husband does not sleep out because I know him that much, but for other women I may not know. If I find condom in his pocket, I will ask him how he came about it before I get annoyed. One, some offices share condoms, while sometimes it is shared in seminars or when they have some awareness programmes on how to prevent unwanted diseases or unwanted pregnancies.
His reactions would show whether he is faithful or not and I will not ask him again in order to avoid more terrible consequences.

CYNTHIA NDIANAEFO
We shouldn’t be jumping at conclusions. Finding condom in his pocket does not mean there is something fishy, no.
Definitely, I will feel bad in the sense that I will feel perhaps; I was not satisfying him enough. If he tells me I’m not treating him well, I definitely will adjust because no one is perfect.
Nevertheless, there are men that cannot be satisfied with just one woman. These categories of men, I would say, have reasons behind their behavior. Moreover, I will not quarrel with him, but will make him my best friend in order to know his weak points and know how to handle the ugly situation.

MRS MARY SIMEON
Condom is a package used for sexual protection. Some organizations distribute condoms to its staff. It might be given to him in the office or at a seminar. Aside these, should I find a condom in my husband’s pocket, I will feel cheated, though it will not make me get mad at him. As a responsible and learned person, I will ask him first, and if he gives a genuine reason then I’ll for it.
I will take up the case prayerfully so it would not get out of hands because despite the love that brought us together, men will always be men.

MRS PEACE DANIEL
I would first want to know how he came about the condom, because sometimes it’s is distributed in either the office or at seminars. Finally, as husband and wife, we need to believe in each other. So I will believe in whatever he tells me.

HANNAH N WAGUZOR
It depends on the individual. If find a condom in his pocket, the first thing I will do is make enquiry how he got it, but in a soft manner that would not stir up trouble.
If you take it up in a fight and it turns out that he is innocent, it might cause him to do what you are accusing him of. If he is guilty, I would ask him where I had gone wrong or lacking so I can fix things, because if a man cannot see your value as a wife, abusing the marriage is inevitable. So, as a virtuous woman, I have to make him, help him; stand by him, even in his mistakes.

Church sacks Pastor in Kogi

Pastor in charge of Ebenezer Baptist Church, Isanlu, headquarters of Yagba East Local Government Area of Kogi State, has been booted out of his church, which he served for nine years.

His offences, according to source, were gross misconduct and cumulative offence said to be unbecoming of a man of God as alleged in a memoranda sent to the headquarters of the Baptism churches in Nigeria at Ibadan.

The pastor's offences include alleged lust for money, moral bankruptcy and alleged camping of women and ladies in the pastorium of the church. Others include submission of fake receipts and abnormal high estimate aimed at cheating the church.

In an 11-page petition with several sub-titles sent to the embattled man of God and copied to the Secretary of the Nigerian Baptist Convention at its Secretariat in Ibadan, and signed by four principal officials of the church, the secretary, M. E. Jaiyeoba, gave several other reasons for the sack of the man of God.

The pastor was also accused of turning himself into purchasing officer and price negotiator rather than concentrating on the growth of evangelism in the church.

It would be recalled that over N15 million was raked on the spot during the final burial ceremony and appeal fund launching for projects of the church that were started by the late benefactor of the church, Otunba Lesile Akande, last year.

Gidi's finest promo vid 1

Prophet TB Joshua Predicted The Death Of Michael Jackson

The prophetic reputation of Pastor TB Joshua attained new heights with the recent revelation that he foretold the sudden death of the iconic pop legend, Michael Jackson…

Shock and sympathy are still reverberating around the world since the news broke on Thursday 25th June that Michael Jackson, the undisputed 'King Of Pop' had died suddenly after collapsing in his L.A apartment. However, his death had been foretold months earlier by a popular Nigerian Prophet, TB Joshua.

In January this year, Joshua prophesied during one of his famous Sunday services, broadcast live on Emmanuel TV: “I'm seeing a great star whom the world is shouting, “Hey, hey, hey!” In his own area, he's famous – he's known everywhere. He is great – too great… I see something will begin to happen to that star and that may likely end in him packing his load and going on the journey of no return…”

A month later, he clarified that the person concerned was not from his local environ and was 'too young to leave your midst' – enjoining the congregants and viewers worldwide to pray earnestly for this 'great star'.

Although some may view his words as too generic to be accredited to the legendary entertainer, the revelation of Tee Mac Omatshola Iseli on Sunday 28th June 2009, the famous flautist, business associate of Marlon Jackson and close friend of the Jackson family, put asunder such doubts. Joshua knew clearly who he was referring to.

In a sober atmosphere, Tee Mac spoke in front of a live television audience on Emmanuel TV, testifying that Prophet TB Joshua had told him to warn Michael Jackson of an impending health disaster, and invite him to visit Nigeria for healing.

“The man of God (TB Joshua) called me to his office and said to me, 'Please, tell your friend Marlon to bring Michael here to Nigeria. Michael needs healing; he needs deliverance.' I told the man of God that Michael Jackson just went for a medical check up because he is going to have about 50 concerts soon. But the man of God said to me, 'Send Michael here – he needs healing.' ”

When the tragic news broke, “what immediately came to my mind was that the man of God told me something's going to happen,” Tee Mac reminisced. Clearly remorseful, he lamented that if he had taken the message more seriously and acted with more insistence, “maybe Michael Jackson would still be alive today…”

Utilising the occasion to reflect on life, TB Joshua asked the audience in a heartfelt message: “If today were your last day on earth, what would people remember you for? What would generations yet unborn read about you?' He encouraged the people to live each day as if it were their least, and avoid the burden of unnecessary worry and anxiety. “Let us leave tomorrow's trouble for the One who bore our troubles on the cross,” he remarked.

As well as speaking on major world events, Joshua regularly prophesies to individuals that throng his flourishing church in Lagos, with uncanny accuracy. His recent prophecies include the death of the former South Korean president, the Feb 13 plane crash in New York and the release of Ingrid Betancourt from the Colombian jungle last year.

His ministry is attracting a growing fanatical following, particularly across Africa, and many African leaders such as John Evans Atta Mills of Ghana regularly frequent his church for spiritual support and guidance.

NOLLYWOOD STARS, RITA DOMINIC, GENEVIEVE NNAJI FIGHT OVER LOVER

Nollywood actresses, Rita Dominic and Genevieve Nnaji are said to be at dagger drawn over a London based lover called Christopher Obukwelu.

This former broadcaster with the MINAJ TV, we gathered , is the brain behind the enmity between these top stars in Nigeria's make- believe industry called Nollywood.

As the story goes, Rita and Chris were said to have dated years back. While the romance lasted, Rita’s colleagues tried to snatch the handsome dude from her but her defence was as strong as mount Gibraltar.

As you are reading this, there seem to be this strong affinity between the celebrated Nollywood actress, Genevieve and Chris. This new development is said to be bothering Rita whose relationship with Chris hit the rocks a while ago.

Why Rita is embittered about the whole scenario is that Genevieve could stoop that low to date her ex. Meanwhile Information at our disposal reveals that Rita and Genevieve are not on speaking term because of Chris. We shall update you as event unfolds.

Lagos Men are Shoe Shiners, I Can't Be their Lover -Cossy Orjiakor

Agulu Anambra State born actress, Cossy Orjiakor, is on the news again. She has come a step to the gate of pornography.
The heavily boobed damsel has disclosed to a soft sell magazine in Lagos that there is no man in the entire Lagos who can fit into her love life even as she was accused of exposing the nipples of her enlarged breasts.

According to her, “I don't have any boy friend in Lagos because they are all shoe shiners”. “Anybody who will come out to say that Cossy is his girl friend in Lagos is a shoe shiner, my boy friend is not in Lagos, he is based in Abuja”, the controversial nude conscious artiste has explained.

She has challenged the reporters who wrote “nonsense” about her and didn't cross-check nor look for her,saying they are among the shoe shinners in Lagos.

Reacting to critics about her latest porn picture where she revealed her nipples, Cossy disclosed that her pictures and dress sense is nobody's business as the law of the land does not deny her of the choice of what she wears.

The actress said “there is no issue in the matter, it all depends on what one wants for herself, and since my guy and fans like what I am doing, I thank God, and would keep on doing it”.

She explained further that a picture is a picture and this did not in anyway reflect her attitude. “That I appeared nude in a magazine does not make me “wild” and loose”.

Cossy claimed that despite the fact that the print media have feasted on her for long, nobody could claim that she is jumping from one bed to another. As an artist, she claimed to have carved out an identity for herself, stressing that whether her way of life is conventional or not, does not matter to anybody

American Hawks Gala On Lagos Highway!!!!!...LOL

An American, Mr. Sean Alsilski, was seen hawking a particular brand of snacks called Gala at the Ojota area of Lagos State.

He easily drew a large crowd as people laughed and wondered what could have made him to hawk Gala in Lagos, and on a sunny day too.

But Alsilski, unperturbed by the people watching and giggling at him, continued to sell his stuff to motorists and passers-by who were eager to buy from him, some just for the fun of it.

He rebuffed people trying to ask him why he was out in the streets selling snacks, saying he was too busy to talk to anyone. After much prompting by the writer of this report, he opened up on why he was out selling Gala on Lagos streets.

Alsilski said he came to Lagos to carry out a six-month research project on hawking and street trading in Lagos, and the best way to get the answers that he wants was to get involved in the real business rather than be an observer.

He said he had already spent five months in Lagos, hawking snacks at different parts of the state.

“I am here to do a research on hawking and street trading. I was billed to be in Nigeria for six months as part of the Fullbright exchange programme.

“I have been here for five months now, hawking. I have one month to go. I am going to give a presentation to the United States Embassy about my research,” said Alsilski.

Born in the city of New York, the United States, Alsilski lamented that from what he had observed, government was harsh on hawkers and street traders.

“Hawkers here are under stress right now from the government and I am studying what the government is doing right now. We can make some recommendations.

“Government is harsh on them. Some of them have had their goods taken away. I am not sure that is the best way to go about it.

“In some cities, hawkers and traders are given licences and allowed to go to certain areas to hawk. But hawkers should not be allowed to hawk in places like Oshodi,” he stated.

Alsilski’s hawking business has taken him to Yaba, Ojuelegba, Mushin, Ojota, Mile 2, Apapa, Lagos Island and Agege.

WOW...Nigerian Film Corporation MD arrested for embezzlement

The Managing Director and four other directorsof the Nigerian Film Corporation (NFI) have been arrested, for embezzling N11.8 million of.the corporation's funds, by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and agreed to refund money they embezzled.

Sources say the officials confessed to sharing the money.

Earlier this year the management of the corporation proposed moving the corporation's headquarters to Abuja and this was approved but later cancelled.

However, "N11.8 million had, however, been already released from the movement but the officials decided not to refund the money to the ministry but shared it among 11 staff of the corporation,"

Other people who got a part of the money benefited innocently without the knowledge of where the money came from or what it was meant for," a source said.

Bro. Franklin VS. Terry G

DAREY’S Un.DAREY.ted ALBUM PIRATED!

Barely a week after his album hit the stores; Darey Art Alade’s second album has become yet another prey to piracy.

The NCC on Thursday April 2, 2009 caught Akina Music International Limited formerly Benrit Outlook Ltd in the process of illegal mass production of suspected pirated products. The optical discs plant which will soon be charged and prosecuted for piracy of copyright protected works had also been raided by the Commission about four years ago and is currently being prosecuted at a Federal High Court in Lagos for piracy of musical works and cinematograph films.

‘If not for the timely intervention of the Nigerian Copyright Commission (NCC), I am not sure what story we’d be telling today. A lot of our intellectual work, time, money and energy have been put into the release of that album, and to think someone was trying to pirate it breaks my heart’ Darey says

Un.DAREY.ted. which has been on a test run since 2008, and has over time gained momentum as one of Nigeria’s most anticipated albums was finally released on March 31, 2009 under Soul Muzik after a string of videos for ‘With this woman’, ‘Carry dey go’, ‘Not the girl’ and ‘More’.

‘I hope and pray that this criminal act will not be allowed to continue to happen, I mean, people can’t continue to feed off our sweat and toil, its not fair’ Darey who was at Dubai as at the time the news broke disclosed.

Expected to hit the media are more eye catching, irresistible videos from the album- Un.DAREY.ted

Wow!!!!!......Rapper Ikechukwu loses girlfriend to friend..

Rapper Ikechukwu has allegedly lost his girlfriend - Niki Bakare to his friend - Chini Odogwu and he got so angry and said it on his facebook status.His facebook status read “Kills is single. Women cheat and with your friend too? Of all the women out there, ain’t life grand?”

The same day he changed his status to “Yeah, personal life off facebook in one week, from then, they can deal with the PA. But best way to move forward is airing shit out. Putting people on blast New York Style. With that said, I hope Chini and Niki have a great life together. Or was it abi? Oh no he was a month ago or so. Men and women are equally animals when they choose to be. Life is all about choices, that’s all I’ll say“.

We hope Ikechukwu a.k.a Ekillz let go of the hurt and finds love again.

Danfo Drivers Cry Out: “we’re being sidelined!!!”

one of Nigeria’s hot reggae/dance hall act, Danfo Drivers have voiced out their grievances against Awards organizers in Nigeria – Hiphop World Awards and Nigeria Entertainment Awards especially – who somehow have failed to recognize the achievements of the ragga duo.

Questioning the criteria in which judges select their nominees for their awards, the duo argue that their achievement was noteworthy both home and abroad and as such they deserved at least one nomination.

“Who among the entire nominee’s apart from Dbanj, Tuface, 9ice and Psquare, etc is enjoying international exposure like we do? Who is selling Nigeria music to the world like we do?” they argue.

The heavy acceptance of Mimi, one of the tracks off their third album, Meshango, proves that the duo haven’t lost their street credibility and they intend to keep it that way.

“Awards or award we Danfo Driver are the biggest reggae duo in Africa, and also we are not even thinking of changing our Ajegunle pattern of music, rather position it as one of Nigeria most wanted genre of music because it has always enjoy support.”

You would recall that Danfo Driver first hit the limelight with a monster debut album “AM A DANFO DRIVER SUO.” The title track also made history as it featured in a soundtrack for the Hollywood movie, Phat Girlz.

Their sophomore Polongo even recorded a bigger success.

The duo have performed in several African and European countries like Athens; Sweden UK, Germany, Spain,Italy, Switzerland, and the host of other countries in European, Sierra Leone, Benin Republic,Togo,Ghana,just to mention a few

Meanwhile, the organizers of the 4th edition of the Hiphop World Awards issued a press statement recently “to clarify certain criteria surrounding the choice of nominees.”

Kenny Ogungbe looses millions to fire Again!!

For the second time in about two years, entertainment mogul Kenny Ogungbe, has experienced a heavy loss as fire gutted the BQ housing all of his top-of-the-range HD equipment, speakers, consoles and many other audio-visual equipment (used for Kennis Music , Kennis TV and Primetime Africa satellite broadcast)) completely destroyed.

Believed to have been caused by electrical wirings, the inferno, occurred in the evening of Thursday March 19.

Despite the huge loss, Keke – as he is fondly called – seems to be taking the blow in good fate. In a statement issued through his publicist, he stated:

‘‘‘Everyone is OK. We thank God no lives were lost…, I must thank the Fire service for acting promptly. And I thank the Lagos Governor, The Nigeria Police, all media houses, my neighbors and other concerned citizens too. We thank God we were able to contain the fire before it could spread further,’’

Close friends and associates who have visited as at press time include veteran producer Wale Adenuga, Keke’s friend and partner Dayo Adeneye, Keke’s brothers Taiwo and ID Ogungbe and Ayeni Adekunle.

The boys quarters of his Ajao Estate home in Lagos (now a one-story-ed building), was still a bungalow when the first fire outbreak occurred nearly two years ago.

Nite Of a Thousand Laughs Vol 16

Twin-X - "Oya"

Mo'Hits Allstars - Ten Ten

Warri boys fighting!!!!!

Helmet Wahala!!!!!!!

I don't know if u guys heard but on the 1st of january 2009 the lagos state govt passed a law directing all motorcyclists and commercial motorbike riders(aka OKADA)to wear helmets.

Of course u know naija now, several people disobeyed and over 1000 bikes were impounded and kept by the local govts.

By the 2nd of Jan, everybody tried to comply. I will explain.

Last week i spoke to one of ma home boys in naija asking him the state of naija and if there was improvements. He told me he saw a woman passenger on OKADA wearing gele(headtie) with a helmet balanced on it (i.e. the headtie). So what is the helmet protecting? The headtie?

More amazement, my home boy told me another guy drove past on OKADA with a.....wait for it...... a paint bucket on his head! A Dulux pangolo paint buckets (the small size), he put it on his head and used the handle as strap under his chin.

The sight was so retarded that all the police men at Herbert Macaulay junction
burst out laughing in stupor and shock as the guy rode past them.
Now what do you call that? Ingenuity?....My naija ppl y naija no go change...jus to afford common helmet is a problem but i love ma naija ppl cuz we dey HUSTLE!!!!!

Drunk Naija Guy!!!!!!

Kelly Hansome - My True Love

HAPPY VALS DAY!!!!!!

happy vals day

Kelly Hansome records gospel version of Maga Don Pay!!!!! LOL

Like afropop singer, Olu Maintain, fast rising Nigerian singer, Kelly Hansome has been criticised for glorifying internet crime. Kelly has however stated in several media interviews that contrary to what people may think, Maga Don Pay was a song celebrating the favour of God on a man!

”It depends on how you want to look at it. Maga is an acronymn for Man And God Always. God will use man to bless you; so that man is your maga. And when they say I talked about ’system’ in the song; the world we live in is an ecosystem; and na magas dey control the system,” he said to press men recently.

i guess what kelly was trying to say is that be quick to bless others with your resources and you will rule your world!![lol..nice try kelly..lol]

For those who may not be comfortable with the equivocal maga do pay, the Kennis Music act has recorded a gospel version of the monster hit single. the song titled Jesus Don Win, we gathered, will be included his full length album which would be released early next year.

Jim Iyke Records Rap Album!!!

Nollywood actor, Jim Iyke is preparing to debut as a rap artiste. we gather that Nollywood’s bad boy is currently in the studios putting finishing touches to his yet untitled rap album.

those who have been previledged to hear some of his recordings say that fans would be blown away by jim iyke’s extraordinary rap talent. critics on the other hand wonder if the nollywood actor turned singer would be highly embraced by the hihop community or join the rest of “failed nollywood musicians”

you would recall that the likes of Osuofia, Ramsey Nouah, Shan George, Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola, Mr. Ibu, Segun Arinze, Desmond Elliot having tried to have a peice to the “highly lucrative” music industry but to no avail. we hope jimmy boy will break the jinx.

My barber and my dandruff!!!!!!!!

No, I don’t have dandruff. And I know I don’t have dandruff because my wife, who should be the first to complain if I have dandruff, is not complaining. And there is no itch on my head, which I understand is a symptom of dandruff. So in summary, in totality and finality, I don’t have dandruff. But my barber insists I do.

You see, my barber is quite popular with ‘honourable’ heads. At the salon the other day, I bumped into an honourable member of the National Assembly; and the other other day a couple of honourable Commissioners. So all in all, my barber does some brisk business with top heads. And because the price of a haircut is fixed, and not every customer remembers to leave a tip, my barber has to invent more ways of survival. His fundraising way with me is with my ‘dandruff’. Almost every time I go to have a haircut, the first thing he says when he reaches near my scalp is that “Alhaji, you have dandruff.”

It began like a joke. I would laugh and say, “Hey, I don’t have dandruff!” Then he would scrape my scalp and show me some powdery white stuff: my very dandruff. So I gave up resisting. The third time he said I had dandruff, I said, “Yeah, yeah, I have dandruff, and it’s killing me. What do I do about it?” He had the right remedy: a big bottle of hair shampoo which he assured would do away with the irritant in no time: “Just rub in at every shower and you are bye-bye to dandruff”, he said. So I bought the hair shampoo on which was written Head and Shoulders. (I still wonder what my shoulders had to do with it). I took it home but actually never got round to using it; so convinced I was that I had no dandruff for a start, but not for a finish. And that was the beginning of my travails.

At the next visit, he commended the healing process of my dandruff, but announced with a flourish that yet another, better, remedy had come into town. This time, it was an ointment which you would rub into your scalp after every morning shower. Rather than argue, I bought the stuff. And took it home. And put it on the side of the big bottle of shampoo on the shoulder of my bathroom mirror. Out of curiosity I one day opened the ointment bottle to smell the content; it was so strongly ghastly I nearly threw up, and so threw it away.

A couple of weeks later, I went back to my barber. All this time I had not used any of those remedies. Yet he complimented me for a job well done: my dandruff (which I knew never existed), had all but disappeared, he commended. So I was on my guard for any further recommendations he would make. Lo and behold, he offered an after-dandruff rub which, he claimed, would ensure it never came back. I bought up and gave up.

Over the few years I have been a ‘patient’ patient at this dandruff ‘surgery’, I had been coaxed into buying an ear- and nose-hair trimmer (“the perfect thing for busy people such as you Alhaji”). And he recommended a new apron, and a new set of clippers. By the time he was done with me, my bathroom had as many gadgets as he had in his show glass. Over the course of a few years, my barber has made me buy a range of hair-care products I can well do without. So far I have several shampoos, a couple of ointments, a set of brushes, two clippers, a napkin, an apron (yes, including an apron), and that ear- and nose-hair trimmer which needs batteries that I haven’t come round to buying. Simple predatory marketing, I must admit, but I was the fool for it.

So how did I fall into this trap? I am otherwise quite a thrifty person with my scarce resources, yet look at this barber who has made sure he parted me with my hard-earned money over time. He must have something which I don’t. On closer scrutiny, I found that the one who holds your head (and has a weapon to hand) brooks no argument. So it was instinctive buying.

So there is no conflict at the top of my head. As there is no conflict at the top of our national government. If the top is at peace, the bottom should fare well. So it is with concern that I warn people who look at our top man and comment, “Kai! This guy really looks ill”, to sheath their swords, or clippers, as the case may be. Who said he is unwell? Is he complaining to you? Is she complaining? So what is your own commenting where you are not required to comment? As there is no conflict on my head, there cannot be conflict at the nation’s top. People just scrape some powdery white stuff and claim it is dandruff. It is not.

Even if I had dandruff, come to think of it, was I complaining? But the barber had this scary theory that, left untreated, dandruff can descend into one’s eyes, and one’s teeth. Fie! If dandruff can sit unobtrusively on my head without the head-owner complaining, why can’t our top guy sit safely on his seat? The nation is not complaining of any itching and/or scratching on its head. The head is perfect.

Therefore, O my barber, just leave my dandruff alone. I am not complaining. We are not complaining whether the top man looks ill or doesn’t; whether he is up and doing, or down and undoing. There is no conflict whatsoever. My dandruff only affects me. So let him be. And let my dandruff be.