Monday, July 6, 2009
Find condom in your man’s pocket?
Segun was in Abuja for a three-day official assignment. As he was unpacking his bag at his hotel, he found two packs of condom hidden in his luggage. He knew he did not put it there. It was the handiwork of his wife who does not want to take chances with the health of her spouse.
Many women are coming to terms with the reality of their men probably having an affair or an occasional fling. We sought the opinion of some of them if, by accident, they find condom in their man’s pocket. Their responses:
There is nothing I can say. Of course I will be happy to find a condom in his pocket, knowing that he is being careful not to impregnate another woman or infect me with diseases. But I rather would advice him to be careful when keeping a relationship outside marriage. This, I understand happens because some men don’t want to make their wives sex machines, so they go out to satisfy their sexual urge from other ladies or women who have the energy and strength to meet their demands. So, I will always advice him to use condom whenever he is hanging out with other ladies. There is no problem finding a condom in his pocket because it makes me safe with him
MRS. EBOTIE LUCY
For me, if peradventure I find condom in my husband’s pocket, I won’t take it up with him violently. No. All I need is some explanations. Yes, explanations on where and how he got it and where he uses it. If his explanation is convincing enough, I might overlook it. But if he sounds incoherent, I would not take it lightly with him. I simply will conclude he is cheating on me and that could infect me with diseases.
I remain with him on the condition that sex will be out of our lives to be on the safe side, condom or no condom.
I would do is ask him if he was given at a seminar or in the office. But if he did not get it in either of these places, I will only advice him to be extra careful in his affairs with other women.
Definitely I won’t be happy because it shows he is not being faithful to me. In other words, it shows that he is cheating on me. But on the other hand, I will be happy because at least he is protecting himself from deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
No man is an exemption to extra-marital affair. It is their nature to cheat on their wives, no matter how beautiful and respectful their wives might be, they still look out. It is only God that could change this nature of theirs.
I trust my husband, so I would not think negatively of him for he cannot cheat on me.
The fact that I found a condom in his pocket does not put it that he is unfaithful to me. It could be that he was given by these health safety awareness officials.
I will not hold issues against him because he must have been given at a seminar or health conference. On the other hand, he might buy it for safety purpose. But if I noticed he was hiding it from me, I would ask him and his response would determine my reaction towards him.
MRS. GEMBA RABIAT
As for me, my husband does not sleep out because I know him that much, but for other women I may not know. If I find condom in his pocket, I will ask him how he came about it before I get annoyed. One, some offices share condoms, while sometimes it is shared in seminars or when they have some awareness programmes on how to prevent unwanted diseases or unwanted pregnancies.
His reactions would show whether he is faithful or not and I will not ask him again in order to avoid more terrible consequences.
We shouldn’t be jumping at conclusions. Finding condom in his pocket does not mean there is something fishy, no.
Definitely, I will feel bad in the sense that I will feel perhaps; I was not satisfying him enough. If he tells me I’m not treating him well, I definitely will adjust because no one is perfect.
Nevertheless, there are men that cannot be satisfied with just one woman. These categories of men, I would say, have reasons behind their behavior. Moreover, I will not quarrel with him, but will make him my best friend in order to know his weak points and know how to handle the ugly situation.
MRS MARY SIMEON
Condom is a package used for sexual protection. Some organizations distribute condoms to its staff. It might be given to him in the office or at a seminar. Aside these, should I find a condom in my husband’s pocket, I will feel cheated, though it will not make me get mad at him. As a responsible and learned person, I will ask him first, and if he gives a genuine reason then I’ll for it.
I will take up the case prayerfully so it would not get out of hands because despite the love that brought us together, men will always be men.
MRS PEACE DANIEL
I would first want to know how he came about the condom, because sometimes it’s is distributed in either the office or at seminars. Finally, as husband and wife, we need to believe in each other. So I will believe in whatever he tells me.
HANNAH N WAGUZOR
It depends on the individual. If find a condom in his pocket, the first thing I will do is make enquiry how he got it, but in a soft manner that would not stir up trouble.
If you take it up in a fight and it turns out that he is innocent, it might cause him to do what you are accusing him of. If he is guilty, I would ask him where I had gone wrong or lacking so I can fix things, because if a man cannot see your value as a wife, abusing the marriage is inevitable. So, as a virtuous woman, I have to make him, help him; stand by him, even in his mistakes.